Golden Injection
Cockroach: Wah…I pain until cannot take it anymore.
Doctor: You need an injection.
Cockroach: How much is the injection cost?
Doctor: $40.
Cockroach: Wah! What needle you use? Not golden needle right? Then why so expensive?!?!
But Cockroach got no choice; when a person is sick, he will follow the doctor advice no matter what. If doctor said want to open the stomach, the patient have to nod the head. If the doctor said want to open the chest and take out the heart out, the patient still have to nod their head.
No choice, spend $40 on that stupid injection, $40+ on medicine, $20 on consultation fee.
*beep**beep**beep**beep**beep**beep* stupid doctor! I spend stupid $40 on that stupid expensive golden injection; it didn’t relive my stupid pain!
I WANT MY MONEY BACK!
Serve me right.
Got to rest, I think I have a long time didn’t have my sleep before 10pm.
Good Night, take care.
I want to go to other schools!!!
ABC Secondary School in North-East side of Singapore:
More than 80% of their teachers have their own personal website! And they will use their website to give homework over the weekends and etc. For example, a teacher:
Every Friday post a History Essay Question online and student are to answer as a draft with the answer template provided over the weekends, the teacher can comment back of the essay answer using the template as well. Cool right? Maybe your don’t get it, if you look at how they make it a success, I think you will said “WOW!” with me together.
DEF Secondary School in ZZZ area:
Their canteen is 2 times bigger than mine!!!! Not only that, their canteen sells fries, ice cream, soft drinks and etc. Cockroach current school sold fries and soft drinks before but it was banned by the school.
GGG Secondary School:
Their Hall has air-con installed. Student will no longer complain the hall is hot and stuffy. Sad to say that will not happen in Cockroach school.
BYD Secondary School:
The school prints notes for their student and make it into booklet for free!!! FRRE!!! They even give Cockroach one copy of it. Will this ever happen to my school? No, no, no. our teachers don’t even have enough paper to use, why still print notes and even make into a booklet? According to QQQ teacher from my school, our principal gives teachers limited use of paper.
YYY Secondary School:
They start school 45 minutes latter than mine and ends school 45 minutes earlier than mine! Wah… seem like Cockroach’s school have longer school hours. Because they start their school late, they don’t have the problem of late coming also.
I visited more school and found lots of things, above is just some of the things I wish to have. Of course I visited school that have studio in it and student can compose song and record them in their school’s studio. If I am not wrong, that school also selected one of their young student song composers and makes it into new school songs of theirs.
I wish I was them, I hope they will treasure what the school did for them because Cockroach doesn’t have the chance to experience it or maybe, Cockroach never sanctified what my school had done for me.
Mr. Super Cockroach
Wake up at 6.00AM – Wash up, Bath, Change clothes, off to school
School from 7.15AM to 6.30PM – Lessons and etc.
Rush to night lesson from 6.30PM to 7.00PM
Night Lesson from 7.00PM to 9.30PM
Go back home, should reach home by 10.15PM
The only break I can get is 10.35AM to 11.15AM, after that, I will be busy until 10.15PM. I got no lunch, no dinner, only Breakfast and supper which will make me fat. Not forgetting, I got homework to do also.
I know, I am not the busiest person in this world, but tomorrow is someone birthday, I wish I can be with her, yet I can’t. I feel more neglected from the family because I spend less time with them. I got busier because I haven’t finish preparing Math Worksheet for the Primary 2. Thank goodness my holiday is just 9 months away (I hope so).
I think I can call myself Mr. Super Cockroach from now on with underwear drawn outside.
Teacher...Please don't come
I keep chanting this on Friday, from morning in school to afternoon at home.
Not I don’t want to do the homework, is I don’t have the time. You see, I have test in school everyday this week, the government look at my school result, not my night lecture’s one, so on the way to the night lecture (takes me 20 minutes to cycle there):
“I wish, I wish, I wish the lecturer met car incident today. I wish lecturer’s children want to commit suicide so he don’t have the time to come. I wish he fall into the drain when he walking towards the lecture hall. I wish he trip and fall down the stair while coming up to the lecture hall. I wish…”
As you can see, I cursed that lecturer until….*wordless*
Anyway, it ended up having a good ending:
*rush to the admin manger.”
Cockroach: Eh…today Adrian (my lecturer) got come?
Admin Manger: Oh…today he got course, so there will be a relief.
Cockroach: Chey…scare me.
--------------------
Be it in school or night enrichment courses, whenever student didn’t do the homework or on that particular day is a test, the students will wish, pray and curse something will happen to that teacher so he or she can’t come to the classroom to collect the homework or give test to the student:
Student Ah Boy 444: Jia lat, Jia lat, haven’t do History Essay!!! Die, die, die….I wish today Miss Pig never come.
Student Ah Girl 333: Eh….today I saw her talking to principal leh… Jia lat! Other class yesterday got surprise test!!! We haven’t got our test yet! Don’t tell me…today we got test!
Student Ah Boy 444: Wah…today Valentine Day leh… I want to catch movie with my dear today! Latter she like last time punish us and stay back until 6pm then cannot watch movie!
Student Ah Girl 333: Eh…she so old liao … still ‘Miss’, sure no guy want to be with her. Latter mental problem become crazy women, want us to stay with her on Valentine Day, we die lah!
Student Ah Beng 999: Don’t worry, take a look outside.
*the whole class looked outside and saw a relief teacher stand on the door, looking the class-code*
The whole class chants:
Come in… Come in… Come in… Come in…
*And the teacher walks in =) *
Relief Teacher: Is this 4E2?
Whole class: Yay!!! Woohoo!
Relief Teacher: My name is Mr. Tock, your teacher today takes half-day leave and I am doing relief for the next two periods. Good Morning Class.
Whole Class: GOOD MORNING MR TOCK!!!
Class Bookworm: Wah…greet Relief teacher greet so loud. Never see your greet Miss Pig greet so loud before.
Whole Class: Shut up lah!
Relief Teacher: Ok, Ok…eh… your teacher never give your work to do so your may do your own stuff.
Whole Class: Double Woohoo!
Relief Teacher: Shhhh… you may talk, I am not going to stop you but try to talk softly. Okay?
Whole Class: Triple Woohoo! This teacher allows us to talk!!!
Sound familiar to you? Because you, me, your children, your grandchildren do it whenever we don’t do our homework. =)
My Wife is...
No, No, No…my wife is not a pillow (even though I hope it is) nor my wife is a human. Cockroach is a weird guy…her wife is his…
LAPTOP!
Ai ya, my wife accompany me for so long, now must give her a title, must be a responsible guy since I had molest her for so long already. (Molest = use, touch) Cannot touch, used and leave her alone right?
-_________-|||
I know is lame.
Cockroach shall now explain the post on Valentine Day to clear those dirty minded people.
“You never fail to stay late at night with me in my bedroom until the next morning.”
Not to have sex, but to do work.
----------------------------------------
“Thank you for providing services that I need everyday.”
My wife don’t sell her body, she gives services such as PowerPoint, Microsoft Word and etc.
----------------------------------------
“Together, both of us only, we strive to produce good quality product every night.”
Not to have a football team after sex that but good quality of work done, must get perfect for everything!
----------------------------------------Hope, just HOPE that this will stop dirty minded people to make their imagination run too wild but if this explanation still didn’t stop your dirty thoughts, meaning you are hopeless.
(More blogging topic such as “Singapore Student Life”, “老师。。。坏了!” Coming soon. I know I had not been blogging much but…my wife and I working very hard every night until no more strength left and too tired after everything. Please refer to above if you start to think about dirty things again.)
Message to my wife
I got thousand of words to say today, yet I don’t know how to put them in words.
I would like to thank you for day and night, accompany me no matter what.
You never fail to stay late at night with me in my bedroom until the next morning.
Thank you for providing services that I need everyday.
I think you are now part of my body.
Because I can’t live without you.
Together, both of us only, we strive to produce good quality product every night.
Thank you wife, thanks for accompany tonight with me again in my bedroom to make my valentine’s night not a lonely one.
Happy Valentine Day
Cockroach//蟑螂
KTV聚会 Photo Video
你拍了照片会做什么?有些人喜欢做Photo collage,有人喜欢做Photo Album。蟑螂喜欢做 Photo Video。把音乐和照片放在一起,感觉不同。
蟑螂吃饱没事做(其实不是,是要减压)昨晚做了上次KTV的Photo Video。虽然做的不是很好,不过还可以看!这是我第一次做Photo Video到要疯了。没有很多照片,照片不清楚,不够美眉的照片。。。请大家多多原谅!
大家可以点击以下来下载Photo Video。请大家Save it to your computer,以免吃掉我的Bandwidth。
KTV Photo Video – 25.5MB, 04:37 Minutes
(Link will be taken down after 7 days.)
制作:Cockroach//蟑螂
摄影:蟑螂队 & 壁虎队
P/S: 如果Link doesn’t work, 可以叫我用电邮发送给你。
在想:“各位美眉们,看了Photo Video后有没有一点点地后悔,没让蟑螂队 & 壁虎队拍多一点你们的照片?!?!”
KTV聚会
蟑螂这几天好忙哦。。。今天还忙到连晚餐也忘了吃。没办法。。只好跑去楼下的KFC买Cheese Fries 来吃。
如果人家有事,他们会找蟑螂,要蟑螂become their listening ears。一旦问题解决了,他们又回到他们的朋友的身边,离开了蟑螂。蟑螂在现实生活是很少朋友的。老实说,蟑螂在现实生活里根博客里的蟑螂是不一样。蟑螂带着面具,在每一分,每一秒在人群里找自己的灵魂。
蟑螂就在上个星期天和一些博客朋友一起去KTV一起唱K。蟑螂知道那时很静,没唱歌。。。不过我有唱《甜蜜蜜》。。。算是很好了啦。(我还在想为什么我会唱那首歌)这个现实世界只有我一个人听过我唱歌。。。以后有机会,蟑螂大胆一点,唱多几首给你们听。
可能是因为前几年发生的事,把我很想放弃,很不喜欢Mix with other people。不过,这次蟑螂踏出第一步和人家出去。谢谢大家,蟑螂玩得很开心。也让蟑螂认识到你们朋友的友谊。
当天拍了满多照片。(What else does Blogger do? )点击这里去看看。(壁虎上载的。也有壁虎拍的照片)蟑螂很开心。。。很relax 。从没有那么relax过了,再一次,谢谢你们。
最后还是要回去现实的世界里,面对将来,面对一大堆功课。
P/S:蟑螂现在超级喜欢FIR的歌。小嫒唱《Fly Away》很。。。哈哈哈。。。还可以啦。
很期待下次的聚会。。。也希望会见到更多人。 :)
Chinese New Year?
Cockroach here, from day to night during Chinese New Year looked at the laptop with Microsoft Word screen. *sigh* this year no red packet (not even from dad and mom) relative all go oversea, me this year got big exam, cockroach don’t even dare to play so much. So its lead me a boring yet meaning Chinese New Year… (Like real…-_-)
Actually not cerebrating Chinese New Year is good also. I mean I save the trouble go house to house from east to west and visit people. Once more, people gossip about me when I was at the house. Last year…
Around the table having lunch together:
Relative 7777: Ai yo…Ah Jian (cockroach) har. Why you so big liao still no girlfriend? You see Ah Wa (my cousin) 2 years younger than you now already have third girlfriend liao. Guys must take initiative; you expect girls to go to you and said ‘I love you’ meh?
Cockroach: Ya…Ya….Ya…Ya…Ya…
When I want to get a girlfriend…is none of your business. Sometimes, I think their parent is proud of their son when they got girlfriend at such a young age…
And sometimes, to show off their son’s school:
Relative 3434: Hey! Wah, one year never see you, you still as short as before.
Cockroach: Ya…I know Ah Po grow taller…
Relative 3434: Now what school you studying?
Cockroach: Junyuan Secondary School.
Relative 3434: Huh? Which school is that? Never heard before leh…
Cockroach: Is a school located at Singapore.
Relative 3434: Your PSLE result not good is it? Go to a school that I never heard before. You see my ah boy, ai yo…I also don’t want to said har, he got into Dunman High leh. You sure heard of the school right? Top 10 school in Singapore. Blah…Blah…Blah…
Cockroach: Ya…Ya….Ya…Ya…Ya…
I hate it! I hate people said I go to neighbourhood school! What’s wrong with neighbourhood school?!?!
Besides comparing which school their child goes to, during Chinese New Year, they also compare their child’s last year End of Year Result and also not forgetting “parent teach parent how to give their child stress”:
Mother 1111: Hey! Happy New Year!!! Hey, last year your child results good or not?
Mother 8844: Eh…English 60+, Math 70+, Chinese 80+. English not very well done, but can pass can liao lah.
Mother 1111: Ai yo…so badly done?!?! You see my ah girl English get 80+, Math get 100. They primary 1 must give stress one, if not next time they won’t study one…
Mother 8844: But they still quite young, I don’t want to give them so much stress, latter they loss interest in studying.
Mother 1111: Cannot like that said…you must build up their basic, if not in primary 2 or 3 they don’t know how to do the more challenging questions. You must learn from me, I ask the tutor every time give ah girl 3 math papers to do, 4 English assignment books to do. This is call good stress, is for their own good. You want me to introduce tutor for you. Mine one is $300 per 8 lesson, very good…
Mother 8844: Eh…no need. I got tutor at home for $120 per 8 lessons.
Mother 1111: Ai yo, that tutor good meh? My teacher teach don’t know what school one leh, very famous one…want to get tutor must get this type one. Want or not? Very good, she gives a lot of homework and stuff, and my ah girl score so well…
Mother 8844: Eh…no thanks….
Mother 1111: Ai yo you… You want your child have bright future or not? I tell you har…if your child die die cannot study, cane sure works one. Some kids need to see cane then their mind start working. My Ah girl also like that…Blah…Blah…Blah…
I seriously pity my cousin who is now Primary 3. If I was she, I think I am the first one to jump off the building.
Anyway, beside things that got to do with kids, studies and school, recent years with hand phones and etc. Not much people send Chinese New Year greeting cards anymore. They turn to E-Greeting cards or just SMS to said “Happy Chinese New Year!”
This is the SMS I got early the morning of the first day of Chinese New Year:
“性年到,性年到,快乐性年人人要。安全套,避孕药,大街小巷买到笑。脱光衣,抱一抱,享受做爱多美妙。通通枪,通通枪,通通枪到洞洞痒。。。新版性年歌。”
Basically, a direct translation will goes like this:
“Sex Year come, Sex Year come, Happy Sex Year everyone wants. Condom, Contraceptive pills, every shop sell until siao (crazy). Take off clothes, hug and hug, enjoy having sex very fun. (I don’t know how to translate the last sentence “通通枪,通通枪,通通枪到洞洞痒。。。新版性年歌。”)
It is original a Chinese New Year song, but rewritten and become a “sex year song”. Oh…Singapore government still said Singaporeans not creative enough….this still call not creative?!?!
Okay, shall stop here, once again: