From time to time, people had been jealous about me for being able to do well for my humanities subjects. They assuming that I memories everything word by word. They assuming that I read the whole textbook in order to do well for my exam. They assuming that – Cockroach is a hardworking boy.

But, the fact is that I don’t really like the way people study for humanities. I find it a bit wrong by using those methods to study. I know someone who memories the whole textbook, I know someone who write out the notes again and again. I also know someone learn with a unique way – sleeping on the history textbook, hoping information can goes into the head.

To be honest, I don’t really like to study history or social studies. Why should we study dead people? But we have no choice; I made myself love humanities by study further. Sorry, I don’t like using textbook. If I have a choice, I would not want to buy any textbook. I would want to go to the library to find out all the information.

Yes. I guess I do well because I read more than what I need to. I don’t memories the whole junk of facts into my head. Maybe I did, but for the important factor. Most of the time, during exam, I write out answers by using my own English, my own words, my own expression. I use my own feeling to handle the essay questions. Something which I guess not many of my classmates did that. They memories the whole model essay book hopping the exact question would come out, which hardly will.

The problem is that many people thought that textbooks or guide books had all the information that needed for exam. But, I find that information from those books is too condensing until people would not be able to know more about the topic. They are trapped in this maze, the maze which prevents them to know more and expand their knowledge.

They have to walk out this maze in order to do well for exam I guess. I don’t know. Different people have different ways to study for their exam. But one thing I know for sure is that – studying is not for the “Paper” we getting, but to know more about the world and expand our knowledge. No harm to know more than what is required for exam.

I guess I shall stop here. If not publisher of textbooks and guide book will sue me for slander. You see, I don’t want to be the next blogger who got sued. ^^

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Prejudice by Cockroach

I moved into my new house wanted to start a new life. I was accused for molesting and was in prison for two years. I wanted to let go of my past and wanted to get a job as soon as possible. My family had left me; my friends had been avoiding me. All I ask was that the society to give me a second chance. My life was grimed because of my past…

I had faced many problems while looking for jobs. People had rejected me when they knew I was an ex-convict. I started to get used to those discrimination. I believed that one day, someone will accept me. The neighbours also had shown their concern about me being joblessness. I did not dare to tell them the reason. I was afraid that they would avoid me if they knew my past. But things could not be avoided. Somehow, they knew about my past and started to avoid me when they saw me.

Few months passed, I managed to get an accountant job in the bank, but my neighbours were still avoiding me. I did not know what I should do to ask them to accept me. I wanted to start a new life, yet people were not giving me the chance. Until a new neighbour moved in, I thought she might not know anything and we could be friends.

But that was not the case. The new neighbour did not talk to me after a few days even though we met each other in the lift a couple of times. I sensed that she was avoiding me; most likely she knew my past from the other neighbours. I felt so sad, angry yet helpless. I needed friends, I needed people to accept me, I needed people to leave my past behind and to trust me that I had turned into a new leaf. But I guessed that would not happen.

One day, as I was walking home, I heard,

“Girl! Do not stand so close to that guy. You would not know will he want to molest you,” said one of my neighbours.

I felt so hurt and disappointed. I did not know what to say nor either did I know what I should do at that time. People began to crowd around me whispering among themselves. I felt so unwelcome and hurt. I held my tears. Then I heard someone shouted,

“Enough!”

Everyone looked at her, the new neighbour, wondering what happened. And she continues,

“Someone might make a mistake in the past. But we should not discriminate them,” she said.

I looked at her and she gave me a wink. She walked to me and whisper into my ears,

“People might discriminate you, but I never will.”

I looked at her with tears in my eyes. Finally I got to know someone who was willing to leave my past behind and accept me for being who I am.

“Thank you for unlocking my second prison,” I said to my new neighbour, Jolin, who is now my wife.

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Saw this personality test at 小心's blog and thought it would be fun if I try it. This is my result:

Your view on yourself:

You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.

The seriousness of your love:

Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates.

Your views on education

Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:

You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:

You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:

You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.

Who is your true self:

You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.
----------------

Quite true. Except that no one find my straightforwardness attractive and I don't have plenty of dates.

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I didn’t manage to sleep last night because I was rushing to finish some stuff that need to be handed in by today. And I just finished few minutes ago.

Tired. But no choice. Had to finish it.

Sometimes I wonder why teacher treat us like superman and superwomen. I mean, we need to sleep too.

Hope to catch some sleep in school latter between breaks or something. I had drank 18 cups of coffee already!

Got to wash up now and rush to school. Hopefully can get back by noon and have a nap.

How wish I am a superman >.<

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On the another day, Mum and I went home by taxi because it was late at night. We and the taxi driver got to chat a little bit as the journey was long. The topic – National Service.

The taxi driver was complaining about how his son turn bad during National Service. Well, not bad actually in my opinion. Well, maybe the son used to be a very obedient, thus the taxi driver, the father, not used to it.

His son “turned bad” in the following ways (The Taxi diver assume that National Service taught his son those things):

1. Learn how to smoke.

2. Always went out.

3. Learn how to spend money.

4. Learn how to drink beer.

Well, I might ended up in the same situation too. I might able to learn how to make more friends in NS, I might know how to drink beer in NS, I might learn how to spend money in NS, I might learn how to smoke in NS(though I don’t think I will ever like the smell of cigarette)

Sometimes, I feel that parent must learn how to let go. I know, parent’s kids will always remain as a kids to the parents no matter how old the kids were. But parents should know that it is part of their child growing up and should put too much restriction on their child especially when the kid had grown up.

For me, I got restriction because of my family. I got my family duty to do. It’s part of my duty to play a part in the family. But because of this, I don’t really get the chance to interact with other people outside my house. This made me a very introvert person.

As much as I want to interact with other people in real life, I just find it difficult to do so. I just simply don’t know how to.

Had been reading Mr. Dew’s National Service posts. From Medical Check up to ORD left 5 months plus away. I enjoy reading army and National Service related stuff. I believe that National Service can change my life. I want, and need to get out of this comfort zone. I trust that National Service will able to teach me skill that I am not equip now, for example: social skills.

I think those social skills that I will equip in National service will labeled as “Bad” by my parents. But I believe that it will help me with my offline social network.

Sometimes wish to enter National Service as soon as possible.

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Went to school today, nothing much happen. Meet old classmates, meet new teachers. A New year with new goals.

Had found that I had forgotten most of my work. Had problem with some homework now. And I don’t feel like studying for today. Rest one more day and more work coming soon! WHOOH!

Had a chat with principal (Surprise, surprise – Principal still know my name… Not a very good thing isn’t?) and history teacher. Thanks for their concern about my English. I will work on it and do well for my English. In fact I got some plans now. Need to work it out though.

Got my Service Award today. Hehehe… SGD$150 going to say “HI” in my bank. Went to stage, shake hand with principal, and got the money. Sometimes I wonder why don’t they just give us the money. I feel quite embarrassing on stage.

Also took some photo for the school magazine. School wants to put my photo due to last year my photo appear on Straits Times. Just hope that the text will be just a few words, photo will be small enough to make it unnoticeable.

New Year, New Starts. All the best everyone!

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Just a quick post.

I don't know should I say "I am looking forward today, the brand new year of school starts!"

Sometimes, I feel nervous, worry about it. I am afraid of school. It's going to start of my nightmare!

Okay, not as bad as what I think. I do love study. (Study and reading is my hobby anyway) But problem lies on the school which had overloaded me. >.<

Today, first day of school, yet I wonder what time I should report to school >.< It used to be 7.15am, but I just got my timetable and lesson start at 7.45am and 8.45am, but no flag raising period?

Em...better start to prepare myself for the new battle of the year! Whooh! Wish me all the best in all tests and exam, ya?

Better shutdown my laptop now and go to school. See ya!

Happy New Year!

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